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    September 01

    开始新生活

    无论如何,生活总是要继续。

    当惊觉到自己原来不是想象的那么崇高,人的确会陷入低谷。诺言、坚持,比自己预想更为脆弱。“我到底还是我吗?”这想法有时候甚至让我痛恨自己。

    要面对的另一个问题在于突然间孑然一身的感觉。“家”没了,剩下自己一个人。

    更何况,这还涉及到她的未来,对她的伤害毫无疑问是巨大的,我很担心——她曾经那样依赖我的感情。我也不知道如何补偿。

    如果可以,我甚至愿意飞蛾扑火般尝试回头,来重新顶起她的天空。也让自己心安理得。可惜,一切都像流水般逝去。

    她说,一个人也可以过得很好。

    她说,这段日子里曾经有人更好的照顾她。

    她说,听到我的声音已经像是陌路人。

    她说,其实,我并没有像想象中的那样让她那么快乐、安心。

    我不知道她是说实话,还是想让我放心还是想伤害我。我愿意相信这是实话。呃,不对,我相信这是实话。

    我想,认识自己、完善自己是生命中永不停歇的进化,下一刻比这一刻更好就对了,没有人一开始就能完美。

    我想,人必须从低谷中挣扎出来,在逆境中掌握未来。

    我想,只要她能活得好,我就没什么好担心的。有些事,只要确实有心就可以问心无愧了。人不能总是活在后悔和自责中。更何况,只要她真有事儿,我还能袖手旁观吗?

    我想,人总是要为自己的所作所为付出代价,还完了债,新生活就在眼前。

    从现在开始,反思结束了,自责结束了,伤感也结束了。新生活悄然开始了。

    遗憾的是,新生来得晚了一些,第一个新缘分已经擦肩而过。就在我反思、自责、伤感啰里啰嗦头大的时候。

    有一个不完美的开局,但终究是新生活,呼吸着新鲜的气息,虽然脚下道路依旧荆棘,至少空气不再那么压抑。那就开始吧。

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    韬 孙wrote:
    北京俺们有分部,是轮不到我等去采访了。你怎么现在常驻北京了啊?
    Sept. 2
    雪 张wrote:
    fighting 下次来五棵松的体育场哈
    Sept. 1

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